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Battlefield 3 Comic: "Vodnik over"

Dan67 April 4, 2012 User blog:Dan67

"Vodnik Over" Part 1

Russian Trooper: "Nyet, Stupid Piece of Junk it can't turn right"

Russian Engineer: "What's wrong with the Vodnik Commander?"

Russian Trooper: "Nothing it's just the steering on it is a bit too stiff and i can't get the repair crew to help me out"

Russian Engineer: "Wasn't that the repair crew you accidentaly lost in the Battle of Tehran Highway"

Russian Trooper: "Nyet! i think...Aww **** yeah that could'ev been them why you ask Corporal?"

Russian Engineer: "I don't know commander, I don't know why but i think they had our stick shift a few days ago"

Russian Trooper: [walks up to engineer and Pimp slaps him for being stupid] "why didn't you stop them you idoit!"

Russian Engineer: "i was watching my little pony and it was a Season final before the next one comes out in Fall"

Russian Sniper: "My little pony sucks"

Russian Engineer: "Go **** a Tree sniper"

Russian Sniper: "How about you Weld yourself a metal Fluttershy for you to **** all day"

Russian Trooper: "ENOUGH!!, both of you grow up already this is very serious here comrades"

Russian Sniper: "yeah like the engineer's mom on Black Friday"

Russian Engineer: "Hey Black friday had a discount on AN-94 attachments and Frag rounds were 60% off!"

Russian Trooper: Aww shut up already you two---

Russian Comm-link: "Donkey Squad come in Over"

Russian Squad: "Da, what's the situation over"

Russian Comm-link: "Multiple US Armor has landed on shore, Squads Firefly and Roadkill are delayed so you need to hold them off until we can provide you with some heavy firepower over"

Russian Trooper: "Da, you hear that Mother russia wants us to stop the americans"

Russian Sniper: "Your Mom i thought we we're fighting for russia"

Russian Trooper: [dead awkward silence] By mom i mean our nation comrade"

Russian Sniper: "I know that i was being a smartass with you Commander lighten up alreadly"

Russian Engineer: "Can i kill sniper Commander?"

Russian Trooper: "Nyet, Corporal he may be a trouble maker but he provides us with good intel"

Will Donkey Squad Stop the US invasion on Norshar canals in time, find out later on part 2 "Them tanks"

"them Tanks" Part 2 (Delayed)

Meanwhile on the otherside of the Norshar canals, the American forces push forward onto the shoreline and Virtually destorying anything that is russian.

US Support: "placing down C4, C4 in position, Arming C4"

US Engineer: [C4 hits engineer] "uhh dude do you realise there's C4 on my leg"

US Support: "Placing down C4, C4 in position...Wait where's that other piece of C4..Aww fuck its on your leg"

US Engineer: "NO SHIT SHERLOCK!!!"

US Sniper: "Whoa your such a Dum fuck for placing C4 on a person after you just placed almost 7 packs of it on the Harbor"

US Engineer: "is there anyway to get this off of me"

US Support: "let me check [5minutes later]hmmmm it's stuck there so uh yeah don't get shot okay"

US Engineer: "Some help coming from a Expert with Explosives"

US Trooper: "Cut it out people send the M1 Abrahms up the Harbor and we'll deal with your problem later Now ten hut god dammit"

US Squad: "Sir yes Sir"

Meanwhile back at Donkey Squad, the Group thinks up a plan to hold off the invasion but short fuses are only going to make it worse.

Russian Engineer: "errrrggghhh...errrrrr oh this is too heavy why did the vodnik ran out of gas"

Russian Sniper: "uh Comrades?"

Donkey Squad: "WHAT IS IT"

Russian Sniper: "TANK!!"

Tank points at Russian Sniper

Russian Sniper: "Aww hell no!"

Russian Engineer: "Da i got this just let me find the rpg first"

Tank Fires at Russian Sniper

Russian Sniper: [Suffering Shellshock from tank blast] "uh ears are ******Ringing"

Russian Engineer: [hits tank with the RPG] "Da you Die american"

US Sniper: "No it's you who Dies mofo" [stabs the Engineer]

Russian Trooper: "Shit they killed our engineer, Sniper get your ass back here"

Russian Sniper: "Da...Ears still ringing keep it soft will ya"

Russian Trooper: "An American Sniper has Stabbed our corporal and he's making a run to the M-COV, you got to stop that motherfucker before he destorys all mother russia!"

Russian Sniper: "Don't worry about it Major i'll teach that Noob something"

Russian Support: "Sniper wait before you go i would be happy if you took this Scope for your M98B"

Russian Sniper: [Unlocks 12x Ballistics Scope] Shit yeah now i can pull off that perfetc headshot thanks man"

Russian Support: "Thank me later now go,go,go!!"

The Sniper leaves Donkey Squad behind in order to engage the Misfit sniper before he destorys the vital intel that has been kept from the US army for nearly months during the war. But will he be able to stop him in time find out on part 3 "My own Worst Enemy".

Part 3 "My own Worst Enemy"

After Hours of Running on Foot, the Russian Sniper finally is able to catch up with Enemy sniper but what he doesn't know is about to screw up the Universe it's self.

US Sniper: "cross this wire, put the powder in the chamber, set the timer and---

Russian Sniper: [Shoots the Charge off the US Sniper's Hand]

US Sniper: "You Can't be fucking serious, that took me an hour to arm that Damn Charge"

Russian Sniper: "hmmm, i Wonder how long it takes you to Get Laid"

US Sniper: "You Don't know Shit about my Communist"

Russian Sniper: "Okay now you just pissed me off you Fucking america"

[Tackels American sniper, American sniper pulls out a knife but misses and is thrown against the M-COV]

US Sniper:I'm[Gets hit by the Gaz Vodnik]

Russian Engineer: "Hey Sniper i'm Back and shit that american stabbed my fucking Fluttershy Plushie, so is the M-COV Disarmed?"

Russian Sniper:"uhh...Yeah i disarmed it, so you survived the stab all because you had a Toy in your backpack"

Russian Engineer: "hmmm, Da Pretty much"

Russian Trooper: [Exits out of the Gaz Vodnik with a Special Guest] "Hey comrades did you kill that sniper?"

Russian Sniper:"yeah it's under control Commander"

Dima: "Hmmm, if i thought that Battlefield will come out with a Second Game then why are we still here?"

[Then all of a sudden the american hero of BF3 comes along to the Russian Hero of BF3]

Henry Blackburn: "Of course there going to make a Battlefield 4, what else is new we've been selling over a million Games for the Past 10years"


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