Location:Atacama Desert , US Base
Time:1300 Zulu Time
Cpl. Larson:...so, as I was saying.. I know this one chick named Kaylynn back in the States, and she can-
Sanford: Hey guys, mount up. We're starting the assault.
Sgt."Steve" Wilson:(mockingly)"hey guys, we're mounting the assault"... do you have to tell us EVERYTHING?! Besides, who told you?!
Sanford:(pointing to large Marine convoy passing by) Those guys.
(Sanford walks away)
Steve: Damnit, why is he always right? ...Larson?
Larson: (looking at ground) Ooo...a chip.
Larson: (chewing) What? I'm just eating.
Steve:Just get in the Humvee, Larson.
Marine:Roger that,Echo 2, this is Dagger 1-1. We are en route to Base Station Bravo, over.
Steve: Larson, what the hell?
Larson: (sipping Fizz Cola) What? I'm thirsty. Here, have some.
Sanford:Driver, what is that?
Larson:Oh, just an anti-tank mine.
Steve& Sanford: OH SHIT!!!!!
Larson:You know, this reminds me of a time when me and this girl went on a drive and-
(Larson suddenly realizes Humvee is empty)
Laron: Guys, what the f-
The Battle Of Atacama Desert
Larson: Hey guys. What's the haps?
Sanford: What happened to you?
Larson: Oh, I just died, that's all.
Steve: What happened to your face?
(Larson shoots Steve in face with MP412)
Sanford: Larson, what the hell?!!!
Larson:Oh, it's fine. He'll respawn soon.
Sanford:But you just shot him! In the face!
Larson:You know, Sanford, you are being a real douchebag now, and I have another round in this thing.
Sanford: What, you're going to shoot me in the face too?
Larson: No, I was thinking of shooting you in the-
(sniper shot rings out and hits Larson in head)
(both Steve and Larson spawn on opposite sides of road at position A)
Larson: Hey, Steve, pass me the other cola.
Steve: Is this really the time for this?
Larson: Do you want another hole in your head?
(Steve throws soda to Larson but same sniper shoots it in midair, spilling all of the soda on the sand)
Larson: You Commie bastards!!!!
Air Force: Roger, this is Darkstar 6-2. Airstrike inbound.
(two A-10s bomb position B)
Larson: Sweet Jesus titty cinnamon!
Larson: I don't know. I heard it somewhere from this guy named Scooter. You heard of him?
Steve: Well,that is the coolest thing I've seen in my entire life.
Larson: Wow, you must have low expectations then.
Steve: Just shut up, Larson.
Larson: Damn, that was crazy.
(Steve points M9 at Larson)
Larson:What is this, payback?
(Steve shoots Russian sniper about to stab Larson over his shoulder)
Sniper: Nyet!!!!(rolling around in pain due to leg wound)
Sanford: (in Russian) What is your name?
(sniper replies in Russian)
Sanford: He says he's this "man of iron". I gotta take a piss, watch him for me, ok?
(Sanford goes behind wall)
Steve: (turning away, along with Larson) He's a douchebag.
Larson:I know, right? I mean, he's-
(as Steve and Larson continue conversation, TMOI steals M1 Abrams)
Larson: What the hell was that?!
( they go to Sanford's last location and find a smoldering hole in the ground.TMOI can be heard laughing his ass off in distance)
Larson: Damn Commie bastards!
TO BE CONTINUED