Fandom

Battlefield Wiki

Comments15

BC2 FTW Episode 1: The Death of Bobby Sanford

Location:Atacama Desert , US Base

Time:1300 Zulu Time


Cpl. Larson:...so, as I was saying.. I know this one chick named Kaylynn back in the States, and she can-

Sanford: Hey guys, mount up. We're starting the assault.

Sgt."Steve" Wilson:(mockingly)"hey guys, we're mounting the assault"... do you have to tell us EVERYTHING?! Besides, who told you?!

Sanford:(pointing to large Marine convoy passing by) Those guys.

(Sanford walks away)

Steve: Damnit, why is he always right? ...Larson?

Larson: (looking at ground) Ooo...a chip.

Steve:Larson!

Larson: (chewing) What? I'm just eating.

Steve:Just get in the Humvee, Larson.


Convoy


Marine:Roger that,Echo 2, this is Dagger 1-1. We are en route to Base Station Bravo, over.

(fizzing sound)

Steve: Larson, what the hell?

Larson: (sipping Fizz Cola) What? I'm thirsty. Here, have some.

Sanford:Driver, what is that?

Larson:Oh, just an anti-tank mine.

Steve& Sanford: OH SHIT!!!!!

Larson:You know, this reminds me of a time when me and this girl went on a drive and-

(Larson suddenly realizes Humvee is empty)

Laron: Guys, what the f-

BOOM!!!


The Battle Of Atacama Desert

Larson: Hey guys. What's the haps?

Sanford: What happened to you?

Larson: Oh, I just died, that's all.

Steve: What happened to your face?

(Larson shoots Steve in face with MP412)

Sanford: Larson, what the hell?!!!

Larson:Oh, it's fine. He'll respawn soon.

Sanford:But you just shot him! In the face!

Larson:You know, Sanford, you are being a real douchebag now, and I have another round in this thing.

Sanford: What, you're going to shoot me in the face too?

Larson: No, I was thinking of shooting you in the-

(sniper shot rings out and hits Larson in head)

(both Steve and Larson spawn on opposite sides of road at position A)

Larson: Hey, Steve, pass me the other cola.

Steve: Is this really the time for this?

Larson: Do you want another hole in your head?

(Steve throws soda to Larson but same sniper shoots it in midair, spilling all of the soda on the sand)

Larson: You Commie bastards!!!!

Air Force: Roger, this is Darkstar 6-2. Airstrike inbound.

(two A-10s bomb position B)

Larson: Sweet Jesus titty cinnamon!

Steve: What?!

Larson: I don't know. I heard it somewhere from this guy named Scooter. You heard of him?

Steve: Well,that is the coolest thing I've seen in my entire life.

Larson: Wow, you must have low expectations then.

Steve: Just shut up, Larson.



Post-Battle

Larson: Damn, that was crazy.

(Steve points M9 at Larson)

Larson:What is this, payback?

(Steve shoots Russian sniper about to stab Larson over his shoulder)

Sniper: Nyet!!!!(rolling around in pain due to leg wound)


Sanford: (in Russian) What is your name?

(sniper replies in Russian)

Sanford: He says he's this "man of iron". I gotta take a piss, watch him for me, ok?

(Sanford goes behind wall)

Steve: (turning away, along with Larson) He's a douchebag.

Larson:I know, right? I mean, he's-

(as Steve and Larson continue conversation, TMOI steals M1 Abrams)

BOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Larson: What the hell was that?!

( they go to Sanford's last location and find a smoldering hole in the ground.TMOI can be heard laughing his ass off in distance)

Larson: Damn Commie bastards!

TO BE CONTINUED

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki